20 April 2024
PART I-B: Grouped People
One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.
—English Proverb, Wordsmith, Quote of the Day, 16.i.24
When we consider humans in groups, those groups graduate in size from parents, siblings, and best friends, to couples, peer groups, soccer teams, classmates, schools, communities, neighbourhoods, military formations, districts, municipal, provincial, national, continental, and galactic aggregations.
When we consider the principles governing the human soul, summarized in Table 3, above (within full manuscript), a simple matrix examining the effect of each principle on each human grouping seems the basic m.o. to best explicate what I wish to say. But that would be tedious and long with many redundancies so the exploration will be more narratively than matrices based.
This book began by declaring our current immersion in a culture war. In the broadest terms, that war seems to me to be based on groupthink* versus individual thought. In uninhabited theory, i.e., at the level of definitions, that’s as it ought be. However, the minute you become aware of Alexei Navalny standing against the increasingly totalitarian colossus that is Mother Russia, look out! The clarifying premise is that the world would be a much, much better and freer place if we decreased totalitarian colossi and increased individuals unafraid to stand forth and discuss free thought. The hypothesis I’m testing, right here, is that our present Western social organizations, led by contemporary thought, are fostering groupthink far more than free thought and free speech.
At the level of familial socialization, two ideas from therapy clarify why we’re in this trouble. Those ideas are attachment* elaborated in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and adverse childhood experiences* (ACE). To keep this concise, let’s begin with some APA definitions.
Attachment n. the emotional bond between a human infant or a young nonhuman animal and its parent figure or caregiver; that bond developed as a step in establishing a feeling of security and demonstrated by calmness while in the parent’s or caregiver’s presence. Attachment also denotes the tendency to form such bonds with certain other individuals in infancy as well as the tendency in adulthood to seek emotionally supportive social relationships.
There are two general types of attachment: secure and insecure. Within the insecure category there are variants such as anxious, avoidant, and anxious-avoidant which have morphed into the variants defined below.
Anxious-avoidant 2. an adult interpersonal style characterized by discomfort in being with others and a tendency to avoid intimate relationships with them. Also called avoidant attachment style, it is sometimes identified as taking two forms: dismissive attachment and fearful attachment.
Dismissive attachment, an adult attachment style that combines a positive internal working model of attachment of oneself, characterized by a view of oneself as competent and worthy of love, and a negative internal working model of attachment of others, characterized by one’s view that others are untrustworthy or undependable. Individuals with dismissive attachment are presumed to discount the importance of close relationships and to maintain rigid self-sufficiency.
Fearful attachment, an adult attachment style characterized by a negative internal working model of attachment of oneself and of others. Individuals with fearful attachment doubt both their own and others’ competence and efficacy and are presumed not to seek help from others when distressed.
Preoccupied attachment, an adult attachment style that combines a negative internal working model of attachment of oneself, characterized by doubt in one’s own competence and efficacy, and a positive internal working model of attachment of others, characterized by one’s trust in the ability and dependability of others. Individuals with preoccupied attachment are presumed to seek others’ help when distressed.
Secure attachment, 2. an adult attachment style that combines a positive internal working model of attachment of oneself, characterized by a view of oneself as worthy of love, and a positive internal working model of attachment of others, characterized by the view that others are generally accepting and responsive. (All attachment-based definitions, American Psychological Association, 2024).
As the APA, at the time of writing, provided no definition of ACEs, we will rely on Johnson’s (2019, p. 190) description: “The ACE study, with 18,000 participants (Felitti et al., 1998), shows potent correlations between early adverse experiences, such as loss and abuse, and later adult mental and physical health, as well as major causes of adult mortality in the United States…In many versions of traditional family therapy, the relationship between parents was often overlooked. But the research generally implies that, for optimal development and function of children, the first concern is not, in fact, the creation of a ‘village,’ but the creation of a team of engaged and collaborating parents.”
How many securely attached pairs of parents are out there forming engaged, collaborative teams? The distribution of attachment styles surprised me. Per Mickelson et al., (1997), 55%-59% secure, 25% avoidant, and 11%-20% anxious. This is surprising for two reasons. First, I am typically mired in the workings of dysfunctional folk striving to gain ground on eudaimonia, which biases my perception of our population. Secondly, in light of Twenge (2023), Haidt, et al. (2023), and Twenge & Campbell (2009), where are the offspring of all these engaged, collaborative, and securely attached parents?
The cultural focus on self-admiration began with the shift toward focusing on the individual in the 1970s, documented in Tom Wolfe’s article on ‘The Me Decade’ in 1976 and Lasch’s The Culture of Narcissism. In the three decades since, narcissism has grown in ways these authors never could have imagined. The fight for the greater good of the 1960s became looking out for number one by the 1980s. Parenting became more indulgent, celebrity worship grew, and reality TV became a showcase of narcissistic people. The Internet brought useful technology but also the possibility of instant fame and a ‘Look at me!’ mentality. Using botulinum toxin [botox] to smooth facial wrinkles to perpetuate a youthful face birthed a huge industry. The easy accessibility of credit allowed people to look better off financially than they actually were. (Twenge & Campbell, 2009, p. 4)
What all of these definitions and descriptions show are values. Values were cited by Heraclitus, Aristotle, and the existentialists who maintained that we internalize values and move toward making them real in our lives. What are the found values articulated by Twenge & Campbell (2009)?
To be continued next week.
Dan Chalykoff is a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying). He works at CMHA-Hamilton and Healing Pathways Counselling, Oakville, where his focus is clients with addiction, trauma, burnout, and major life changes. He writes to increase (and share) his own evolving understanding of ideas. Since 2017, he has facilitated two voluntary weekly group meetings of SMART Recovery. Please email him (danchalykoff@hotmail.com) to be added to or removed from the bcc’d emailing list.
Groupthink, n. “the practice of making decisions as a group in a way that discourages creativity or individual responsibility” (Oxford Languages). “Groupthink is a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people in which the desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in an irrational or dysfunctional decision-making outcome” (Wikipedia, both references accessible here: here)
References
American Psychological Association. (2024, 26 February). APA Dictionary of Psychology.
Haidt, J. (2023, March 9). Why the mental health of liberal girls sank first and fastest: Evidence for Lukianoff’s reverse CBT hypothesis. https://jonathanhaidt.substack.com
Johnson, S. M. (2019). Attachment Theory in Practice: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with Individuals, Couples, and Families. The Guilford Press.
Mickelson, K. D., Kessler, R. C, & Shaver P. R. (1997). Adult Attachment in a Nationally Representative Sample. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 73:5, 1092-1106.
Twenge, J. M. (2023, March 15). Academic pressure cannot explain the mental illness epidemic: It’s not the homework. It’s the phones. https://jonathanhaidt.substack.com
Twenge, J. M. & Campbell, W. K. (2009). The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement, Free Press.
Wordsmith.org (2024, 16 January). A Word a Day, prestigious. https://wordsmith.org/words/prestigious.html
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