7 July 2021
What if they were right? What if each of us does have a purpose for which we are particularly suited? Maslow and at least one other psychologist, James Hillman, held this to be true. Reaching the second to last of Maslow’s growth needs, self-actualization, is pretty much nailing purpose.
I looked at maybe 100 images before selecting the one included with this blog. That image is about getting yourself into the right zone, not driving an arrow into a mathematically precise intersection. In other words, it’s about understanding where you fit into the puzzle of life and what you are best suited to do when you find that piece of the puzzle.
Self-actualization is the desire for self-fulfillment...If someone is not doing what they are best suited to do in life, it will not matter if all their other needs are fulfilled, he or she will be perpetually restless and unsatisfied. Each of us must discover our potential and seek out experiences that will allow us to fulfill it— ‘What a man can be, he must be,’ proclaimed Maslow (Atkinson & Tomley, 2012, p.139, my bolding).
Let’s go to the essence. The self, a concept still actively contested (yes, there are philosophers who maintain that there is no such thing) is divided into three variants in my favourite dictionary:
self 1. The total, essential, or particular being of one person; the individual. 2. The qualities of one person distinguishing her from another; personality or character; individuality. 3. An individual’s consciousness of his own being or identity; subjectivity; ego.
When distilled, the self combines your essence, your difference from others, and your consciousness of that uniqueness. How do we fulfill such a thing?
fulfill 1. To bring into actuality; to effect. 2. To carry out (an order or duty, for example). 3. To measure up to; satisfy. 4. To go to the end of (a period of time); finish or complete.
If these two definitions are merged, your essence, differentia, and self-awareness are made real or complete; they are actualized if, according to Maslow, you reach this stage in the hierarchy.
In the last blog, Maslow was quoted discussing the deficiency needs. In day-to-day life, those missing needs are what irritate you about other people—the constant seeking of attention, the I’m-better-than-you, and the nobody-loves-me voids that keep raising their heads. In essence, Maslow stated that, without those needs met, we are running around with a loudly sucking bio-psycho-social void of some sort, a void that keeps reasserting itself—reminding us of its absence. Maslow saw this as an ailment.
With this in mind, please read the passage taken from the Gospel of Thomas, (c. 60-250 CE) and only discovered in 1945. This passage is known as Saying 70, thought to be a recollection of the words of Jesus:
If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you (Pagels, 2018, p. 23).
By my reading, Saying 70 (above) is entirely consistent with Maslow’s need to self-actualize as it has just been explained above. More explicitly, if we ignore our deficiency needs, we prevent ourselves from striving for our growth needs. We are hampered by the deficiencies we ignore. So where does this leave us?
If you have been ignoring something you really want, for a long time—like years or decades—acknowledge it or talk to a trusted friend or therapist about it. Stop ignoring it, start attending to those psychic holes. I do not believe any of this is easy. I do believe the difference between spending your life in pursuit of tokens, and wanting wholeness instead of holes, is the difference Thomas and Maslow were writing about. It’s a choice between self-preoccupied stasis and life-focused growth. More on growth when we come to Maslow’s final stage, next week.
Dan Chalykoff is working toward an M.Ed. in Counselling Psychology and accreditation in Professional Addiction Studies. He writes these blogs to increase (and share) his own evolving understandings of ideas. Since 2017, he has facilitated two voluntary weekly group meetings of SMART Recovery.
Comments