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Dan Chalykoff

danchalykoff@hotmail.com

Acceptance & Stoicism

To unpack SMART Recovery’s concept of Universal Life Acceptance (ULA), is to grapple with some philosophers who got there first.  This week the work of Epictetus, the Stoic, is compared to SMART’s ULA.

Epictetus was born a slave in 50 CE.  For most of his life, he had one damaged leg and is portrayed with a crutch beside him.  His given name is unknown, so he went by the Greek term “Epictetus” which means “gained.”  His owner must have seen and respected the talents of the young man as he allowed him to study philosophy from an early age.  By 18, Epictetus was a free man having gained his freedom.

Probably his best-known aphorism comes at the beginning of paragraph no. 1 of the Enchiridion: “Of things some are in our power, and others are not.  In our power are opinion, movement toward a thing, desire, aversion (turning from a thing); and in a word, whatever are our own acts: not in our power are the body, property, reputation, offices (magisterial power), and in a word, whatever are not our own acts” (tr. Long, 1991).

If his terms are replaced with more current labels, Epictetus is claiming that our opinions of the things around us, our actions toward chosen goals, our desires for chosen values, and our rejection of chosen situations are all choices we can make—whether living as slaves or free citizens.  In contrast, our health, our wealth, our reputations, and our social-professional-civic status are not within the realm of our control.

Should you be thinking that such ideas are for philosophy seminars, please read about the U.S.A.’s Vice-Admiral James Stockdale who was shot down over Vietnam in the 1960s.  He was the most senior naval officer to involuntarily take up residence in what U.S. P.O.W.s called the Hanoi Hilton (a prison).  He was tortured for seven years.  Before being taken captive, he was a practicing Stoic.  Out of his seven years of imprisonment came the Stockdale Paradox: "You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end — which you can never afford to lose — with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.” Confronting those brutal facts straight up is radical acceptance, not that far from SMART’s unconditional life acceptance.

Dan Chalykoff facilitates two weekly voluntary group meetings, as well as private appointments, for SMART-based counselling services at danchalykoff@hotmail.com

Comments

4 Responses to “Acceptance & Stoicism”

  1. Charlie says:

    I have been trying hard to change my perspective on my day to day life to what is described here. It helps me avoid wasting so much time stuck in in a vicious circle of pointless thoughts. It takes practise, but I feel I am getting better at it. Again, you seem to have the ability to take what is going on in my head and find a way to put it into words. This is really helpful.

    Thank you so much!

    • Dan Chalykoff says:

      If I know that these things have helped a single person, they’re worth the effort. (Sometimes that person is me!) I think Stockdale is easier to grasp than Epictetus: identify the hardship as exactly what it is, without judgment, and without losing faith in yourself or life that things will work out. Thanks for the encouraging response, Charlie.

  2. JD says:

    Great article.

    I’ve been getting into Stoicism lately, which have overlaps with Buddhism as well. Concepts like letting go of the myriad of things and situations in life you don’t control over, life being 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react (spoiler – how you react is your choice), and much more.

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