Maslow Redux: Self-Esteem

11 March 2023

We’ll begin this blog with some quotes on today’s theme: Maslovian self-esteem as the final security need required to foster growth, as revised by Kaufmann (2020).

• “All people in our society (with a few pathological exceptions) have a need or desire for a stable, firmly based, (usually) high evaluation of themselves, for self-respect, or self-esteem, and for the esteem of others.”  Maslow, A Theory of Human Motivation (1943, in Kaufman, 2020, p. 59).
• P: “The most important attitude we have may be the attitude we have toward ourselves” (Kaufman, 2020, p. 59). 
• “…a healthy self-esteem is an outcome of genuine accomplishment and intimate connection with others, and of a sense of growing and developing as a whole person.”  Ibid.
• P: “Self-esteem [depending on culture] is one of the strongest correlates of life satisfaction” Ibid.

As well as having worked with Harry Harlow, Maslow also worked with Alfred Adler, one of the founders of contemporary psychology.  “...Adler personally knew how potent the feelings of adequacy or inferiority were and argued that overcoming or channeling such feelings in healthy directions was necessary for successful adaptation to life” (Kaufman, 2020, p. 58, bold emphasis added).  Please note, dear reader, that we must adapt to life as life cannot adapt to us. 

Maslow took Adler’s adaptive idea a step further clarifying the difference between secure self-esteem—true strength and genuine confidence versus insecure self-esteem—based on power and dominance. Self-esteem is not something you can find or buy, it’s a by-product of doing things in a way that you respect.  When you see yourself doing things well, you think and feel, “Wow, I did that.  Not bad.” And your self-esteem grows.  Kaufman pointed out that seeking to increase self-esteem is often an indicator of a problem. Briefly, his point was that a goal of increased self-regard has no real content, there’s nothing to fuel the required growth.

As above, that growth comes from a focus on independently chosen and pursued values.  Once such values are identified and organized, one has a life plan worth pursuing. Successful—or even diligent but unsuccessful—efforts will cultivate self-esteem whereas the simple desire to feel better about yourself is like a tree with no soil or roots—it’ll be blown away in the first light windstorm because the absent resilience is in the soil and root system.

Kaufman (2020) divided self-esteem into self-worth and mastery.  Self-worth is interesting.  For example, Leary et al. were referenced stating that our feelings of self-worth run parallel to our own perception of our social value or acceptance.  If we feel even slightly rejected, we self-correct quickly to avoid total rejection, probably, Kaufman reasoned, because, in our adaptive pasts, isolation could mean death. 

Here's the Cole’s Notes version of the attributes of self-worth & mastery, respectively:

Self-Worth:

• I like myself.
• I’m a worthwhile human being.
• I’m comfortable with myself.
• I’m secure in my sense of self-worth. [That is, I know I’m a worthy person.]
• I have enough respect for myself.

Mastery:

• I’m highly effective at the things I do.
• I’m almost always able to accomplish what I try to do.
• I perform very well at many things.
• I often fulfill my goals.
• I deal well with challenges in life (Kaufmann, 2020, p. 60).

The question underlying mastery says a lot: “Are you an intentional being who can bring about your desired goals by exercising your will?” (Tafarodi & Swann, 2001; Bandura, 1977 in Kaufman, 2020).  Regular readers may recognize the word Kaufman characterizes that question with: agency.  I think far too much emphasis has been put on self-worth and far too little on mastery.  Mastery is the proving ground; self-worth is the proof.  It must be earned—by us and for us.

In a somewhat similar vein, Kaufman spends a lot of time distinguishing between Narcissism and self-esteem, for those who might find that distinction valuable.  However, of hopefully more value to regular readers, let’s end this overview of self-esteem thus:

It seems to me that the [fully functioning] individual moves toward being, knowingly and acceptingly, the process which he inwardly and actually is...  He is not trying to be more than he is, with the attendant feelings of insecurity or bombastic defensiveness.  He is not trying to be less than he is, with the attendant feelings of guilt or self-deprecation.  He is increasingly listening to the deepest recesses of his physiological and emotional being, and finds himself increasingly willing to be, with greater accuracy and depth, that self which he most truly is. —Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person: A Therapists View of Psychotherapy (1954 in Kaufman, 2020, p. 78).

Next week we move from the hull (security needs) to the sail (growth needs). 

Dan Chalykoff is near completion of an M.Ed. in Counselling Psychology and accreditation in Professional Addiction Studies.  He works as a supervised psychotherapist at CMHA-Hamilton where his primary focus is trauma.  He writes these blogs to increase (and share) his own evolving understanding of ideas.  Since 2017, he has facilitated two voluntary weekly group meetings of SMART Recovery.  Please email him (danchalykoff@hotmail.com) to be added to or removed from the Bcc’d emailing list.

References

Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioural change.  Psychological Review, 84(2), 191-215.

Kaufman, S. B. (2020). Transcend: The new science of self-actualization. TarcherPerigee Books.

Tafarodi, R. W., Swann, W. B. Jr. (2001). Two-dimensional self-esteem: Theory and measurement. Elsevier.