13 January 2021
Broken chains can be seen positively or negatively. Breaking a chain of days using an addictive substance is success. Breaking a chain of days, weeks, or months in recovery is often viewed as failure. Chains arose as a theme in The Daily Stoic (May 16th). Epictetus’ idea was to put one success in front of another so that a series builds. Let’s say it’s three days of consistently practicing the piano you’re learning to play. With three days success, and two days of failure, you now aim for four or more days. (The broken chain approach would be to reduce the two-day streak of non-practicing days to a one-day break.)
Related to chains of behaviours is Jonathan Haidt’s research on the psychology of morality. In The Happiness Hypothesis, (2006, pp. 241-3), Haidt pointed out that no culture has ever been expert in developing all facets of human life, but only some. He cites the necessity of merging the teachings of both science and religion. But interestingly, he first refers to Heraclitus’ observation that All things come into being by conflicts of opposites. What are the opposites of addiction, compulsion, or anxiety?
Haidt stated that, “Happiness requires 1) changing yourself, and 2) changing your world. It (well-spiritedness) requires 1) pursuing your own goals (values), and 2) fitting in with others. Haidt’s summary wasn’t meant to be all inclusive. However, when broken down, pursuing your own goals is purpose, a widely agreed upon universal value, while fitting in with others is belonging to a community, another widely agreed upon value. (In fact, as many of you know, the Canadian, Dr. Gabor Maté, maintains that social connection is pretty much the opposite of addiction.) Further, if you add contribution and meaning, you’ve got a recipe for building a well-spirited life i.e., purpose, community, contribution, and meaning.
Contribution involves being part of the bigger human machine so that, if you’re an electrician, you contribute to bringing light, power, and warmth to buildings, infrastructure, and manufactured goods. Meaning is almost inextricable from purpose—almost. Both answer the question, Why? Why get out of bed each morning? Why go to work? Why train for a better life? Often, meaning is best seen looking back. Why forgive over and over and over? If you can answer that why, the next link in the chain becomes visible.
Dan Chalykoff facilitates two voluntary weekly group meetings, as well as private one-to-one appointments, for SMART-based counselling services at danchalykoff@hotmail.com
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