17 June 2020
Sir Winston Churchill suffered childhood neglect, depression, and frequent financial reversals yet he soldiered on to become the current Queen’s favourite prime minister (and advisor), a great writer, and arguably the single human being most responsible for winning WWII for the Allies. Apparently, after each adversity, he would say, “Keep buggering on.” I believe Churchill himself abbreviated it to KBO. And KBO is the seventh and final factor, in this synthesized list, used to build and sustain resilience.
Judith Rodin cited this attribute of resilience as perseverance. Laurence Gonzales (2012) cited it as an internal locus of control in direct opposition to victimhood. That is, if I accept that my life is largely my responsibility, I am much more likely to act than if I believe everything is (unfairly) happening to me. Gonzales concluded this point by stating that we ought, “Never give up. You’re still here. That means you can do something.” On reading that quote five years ago, I wrote “KBO!” after that sentence.
While perseverance is an essential component of success, it can also be a cliché. The older I get the more evident it becomes that we all suffer setbacks. Telling a person who is trying to improve her life that she ought persevere, stick with it…is true but somehow less effective than telling her to KBO. This is because KBO arrives with a sense of having been kicked before and having found your feet with a knowing smile on your face. While perseverance is necessary, continually buggering on is more likely to make you laugh, love your struggle, and fight just to throw sand in your opponent’s face. Churchill was legendary for his sense of humour and that’s what KBO brings—a wry acknowledgement that success often involves accepting our lives with all their glorious imperfections.
I recalled, while writing this blog, a quote that grabbed my attention decades ago. It’s from Toronto’s own Mary Pickford, (from British aristocracy to Hollywood): “It isn’t the falling down that hurts, it’s the staying down.” That’s what KBO and resilience fight, the staying down.
https://youtu.be/MuOiZn4mbxk
thought this utube was appropriate for the topic.
I also wonder if resiliency is inborn as several people could go through the same traumatic event and some would get through it undamaged and some would just survive.
Hi Barbara, thanks for reading and sending the music along. Great tune. The theory I would turn to in answer to your innate/learned question is McAdam’s personality theory. Yes, we are born with different capacities but, no, they are not irrevocably fixed. We can change how we respond.